Migrating

Hullo, frens.

I've decided to migrate to another blogging site now, simply because it's a change that I've been needing to make for awhile now. I [obviously] prefer photo-based posts, and this platform better caters to my needs. I'm also [hoping] to post more regularly over there since I think it's prettier, and I'm clearly best motivated by pretty things.

clearly.

https://merchau.jux.com/

Shots:

Sometimes you just stumble across shots that make you smile, that need nothing from you to make them better. So you stand on a street corner and shameless point your camera in the sky, taking half a dozen pictures before you get it just right so that you can be fully satisfied in how you've captured the shot. And then you smile some more, because you just captured three of your favorite things all at once: clouds, lines, and tokens of love.

[And then you gallop around the town, shooting everything else you jolly well please:]

24

I'm 24 now. 24. Like, 2 dozen eggs.

Oh, boy.

23 was one exciting, crazy year that I will fail to recap adequately here, but I guess it's still worth a try. This last year I...

1. Took the MCAT...for the 3rd time. And finally got a score more reflective of all the hours I put into studying for The Beast.
2. Said "goodbye" to my grandmother during her funeral
3. Ran a couple of marathons
4. Frolicked around Oklahoma, Colorado, Missouri, and Texas for a bit with some of the best people in the world
5. Ran my fastest mile ever
6. Moved back to T-town
7. Took engagement pictures for 5 sets of friends
8. Witnessed the marriage of my favorite brunette Lady Knight
9. Started another book/writing project
10. Bought my first big-kid camera
11. Went on some of the most beautiful hikes ever
12. Connected with some excellent clients that actually make work fun some days
13. Started hanging out with The Boy
14. Played on a real soccer team
15. And So Much More....

[Sadly, I cleared off most of the pictures on my computer that represent these events and left them sitting on CDs left at home/not in T-town. So I really only have a few pics to represent all the above happy things...]

[hikes]

[wedding]

[boy]

And now? What will this next year hold? I wish I could say for certain, and yet at the same time, I'm kind of glad I can't see that far into the future. It will probably hold exciting things like 

The Wedding of The Brother and 

The Wedding of Favorite Blonde Lady Knight and 

The Great California Adventure and 

Time in CoMo Part II and 

The Start of Medical School. 

It will probably also hold painful things like 

Leaving Friends and

Studying for Late Nights and 

Wondering If I Made the Right Decision

But whatever it holds, I'm going to try to embrace it. To learn from it all, the good and the bad. To grow during it. To turn 25 as a stronger, better, fuller person than I started 24. 

Here's to birthdays. 

Freelancin'

Some days being a freelance writer is miserable. Some days the work is slow, but the bills are not. Some days are spent tossing out dozens of applications for new gigs, all the while knowing that you'll probably not be hired for any of them. Some days are just hard because you have absolutely no motivation to get things done. Some days sorting through 1099s from all your clients as you prepare you taxes is positively tedious. 

But most days, most days being a freelance writer is nice. Most days you appreciate the freedom of working wherever and whenever you want. Most days you love how travelling does not have to equate to taking time off of work, although it can if you can afford for it to. Most days you love setting your own schedule, working it around when the best time for you to take your daily run is. 

Here's to Most Days. 

Oh, Shoot.

I meant to do a "2012 Recap" post, but that clearly didn't happen right away....so I've decided to postpone those thoughts and opt for an eventual birthday recap instead. Most of the exciting things of 2012 happened after January of last year anyways.

So. Until then. Here are a few shots from my latest engagement shoot. It was my first time shooting people younger than me (wait...whuuut?!?), and I happen to know these two kids for forever (Tyler from when he was 2, Jessica from when she was 4.) It was also my first time shooting with snow on the ground, icicles longer than my arm, and below freezing temperatures. For this shoot I broke my "No Railroad Tracks" rule because that was the one place where she wanted to take pictures. And, well, making brides-to-be happy is what I do.

I have to admit, however, that at least the tracks that they chose were my favorite set of tracks. The scenery around them is beautiful enough that we only had to shoot at one location, so once we safely skidded across the black ice in the parking lot, we were good to go. [And by "go," I really mean "go freeze our fingers off."]

T-Town

Moments from T-Town [lately].

[Sunday soccer games]

["ultra"]

[downtown things]

[lovely store]

[simple things]

[parking garage things]

[end of a day]

Finishing

Finishing.

It's something I regard highly, yet I've learned to realize that it's a high regard that has often held me back. For instance, I want to finish everything so badly that a fear of not being able to follow through with things keeps me from even starting.

It's stupid, really.

I want to learn other languages, so I research methods and order a course. Then the course sits there in its nice little box staring at me, taunting me. Because I know that once I start it, I either finish it...or quit.

I want to write a book someday and often have fun story line ideas. Sometimes I even outline plots during free moments in my days. But actually starting those projects, actually setting up that Word doc, actually typing those first few lines--well, that's the hardest part. Because once I do that, then there's only two options: finish...or quit.

And the list goes on to art projects, musical instruments, dreams, dreams, and more dreams. Things that I'd really like to do yet keep putting off because I'm not sure if I can finish them.

And yet slowly, I'm learning that finishing isn't really all that important. I can start and learn to love the doing, really love the process even if it never reaches completion. And it's been a beautiful discovery, one I'm slowly but surely learning to embrace a bit more with each new challenge, each new dream.

So.

Here's to Starting.

Most Days

6:30am and the alarm goes off. This is an hour after K's alarm goes off and right about the time that she's heading out the door. That's really the only set thing in my days right now.

I mean, there are certain things that happen most days. Most days I start off the morning with a run. Then some Daily Audio Bible. Then a shower. Then breakfast. Then catching up on world news that happened while I slept.

Then answering emails, checking in with friends, getting back to clients.

Most days I set up a few playlists to get myself ready for the spurts of work throughout the rest of the day.

And by "set up" I really mean "find a few playlists other people have made online." It's a great arrangement, really.

Most days I focus on hacking out my desired work quota for the day. With random breaks for things like changing the laundry, doing the dishes. A bit of reading here and there. A semi-random ab workout.

Most days end up having a cup of tea appear in them somewhere. Sometimes a smoothie. Always a craving for something sweet.

Most days I try to be done with work by the time I need to go for an evening run and then cook dinner. Most days I am completely unproductive work-wise after dinner. Most days this is frustrating to myself. After all, during college I always was most productive after dinner on most days.

Most days I'm in bed by 10:30, ready for that alarm to go off in 8 hours.

And some days I'm ok with this little semi-routine of mine.

But most days I want more.

.....

So here's to no more of these "most days." Here's to making every day a new day, every day a new opportunity to embrace.

And hopefully, hopefully I'll fall asleep knowing that I've done my best with the time I've been graciously given.
Most days.

 

Simply Being

Simply being. It's one of those things that I have a terribly difficult time with doing, and yet it's really just the simplest thing in the world to do. 

To simply sit. And do nothing. 

And not feel guilty about it. 

I had plans for today. Plans I was excited about. Plans that involved a relaxing but satisfying 10 mile run. Plans that have been put on hold thanks to thunderstorms. 

So I've had to switch my plans. It was tempting to tell myself that I needed to finish editing work for a client or start on a project for another client. It was difficult to let myself put aside that work until another day, to give myself a real weekend for once. 

But I took the break. I brewed myself a delicious cup of tea. Turned up my Ron Pope Pandora station. Curled up on a large brown beanbag draped with a cloth from Costa Rica. 

And watched the rain pour down. 

And did nothing. 

And it was beautiful. Simply Being. 

Moments

Just a few of my favorite shots from the moments spent with lovers these past few weeks. 

1+1=

(Scheduling 3 couple shoots in 10 days. Oh my.)

Beachy

"And we were so much richer then
When all we had was time to spend" ~A, B, & the Sea

[...And spending time at the beach is one of the best investments, clearly.]

Focus

"Creation is in part merely the business of foregoing the great and small distractions." ~E.B. White

I'm excellent at creating distractions. When I should be doing work I can often be found cleaning out the dust in my keyboard or cutting individual strands of hair in an attempt to rid my head of a few more split ends.

But I don't want this; distracting myself is not what I want to be excellent at.

I want to be excellent at creating.

So here's to a month of foregoing distractions. Here's to a  month of creating and trying and learning and reading and running. Here's to a month of no longer putting off the things that need to be done.

[As a side note: I just finished putting together this scrapbook of a trip taken over a year ago. How embarrassing.]

Happy Moments

Capturing people who are genuinely happy makes me happy :)

Snapshots

Running. Traveling. Friends. Snapshots of the past few months spent living out of a suitcase :)

Kites

Be the people?
Be the kite?
Be the wind?
Be the strings?

Lessons Learned

A year ago I was finishing up my last lab reports, frantically trying to cram a semester's worth of Diff EQ homework into a few mornings, getting shots and buying malaria medication, and discovering that my graduation gown (borrowed from my older brother) was significantly shinier than the new eco-friendly gowns recently purchased by the rest of my friends. I also had absolutely no idea what my life would look like after graduation, and I can safely say that sitting in a Panera in Missouri was probably not even on the list of possibilities.

Since then, I think I can safely say that I've learned a lot. I may not be finishing up my first semester of medical school as I originally had hoped, I may not be working on a fascinating research project, and I may not even have a "real" job, but I've still learned that....

1. People value "real" work far more than they'll ever actually admit. Being busy and "doing something" with your life is viewed as what all individuals should be doing--especially all college graduates. Since I haven't had a "real" job for the past year, I've been served plenty of delightful dishes of others' opinions on what I should be doing. What I'd like to tell most of these people is that I've learned to be grateful for not having a "real" job--if I had one, I wouldn't be traveling for a 7 weeks and taking days off whenever I jolly well please.

2. E'rybody thinks that I'm on some sort of hunt to find my husband, now that I've graduated from college. Seriously. It's a bit disturbing. Especially since the last guy who confessed feelings towards me also revealed that he thought living in his parents basement during the first year of his future marriage would be a grand plan.

3. God will always provide. Working on a week-to-week, day-to-day basis with my clients, I know that my source of income could collapse at any point in time. Sometimes this worries me, but I've learned to put aside these worries and trust that God will always provide me with what I need....even if it's through work that involves researching hundreds of colon-cleansing products. 

4. I really like tortillas. (Ok, so this isn't exactly a new realization, but more of a rediscovery of my love for them.)

5. Sometimes all the training may not really matter. You can work hard throughout college for stellar grades, study your ass off for the MCAT...and still not get in to medical school. You can follow a marathon training schedule religiously and still have a run on the actual day that consists of more exhaustion and cramps than you ever thought possible. But in the end? It's all ok. You move on, you may work harder the next time, but you don't place blame on yourself.

6. 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. Really. I don't think that I would have been able to get through the past year without learning this lesson--even though it's a lesson that I should (theoretically) already have learned.

....

and that was a terribly long post. Which I will end with a terribly random photo :)

Happy Things

1. Being done with The Beast.
2. Getting to see a dear friend 4 weekends in a row
3. Having only one week left till I'm leaving on a jet plane...and being thrilled over the aspect of getting to see/live with friends for the next 6+ weeks
4. Knowing that in a week and a half I'll be done with my first marathon
5. Enjoying a steady stream of work, even if it means getting up at 3am to finish an assignment because I was too tired after my long run the previous day to do anything productive
6. Stocking up on books to read while traveling
7. Seeing sunshine, even it it's still cold outside, and the sunshine only occasionally breaks through the rainclouds
8. Hearing a song by Ebo Taylor on this week's We Are Hunted playlist...and being instantly taken back to a hot, bumpy ride in a van in Ghana

One Week

One week, and I'll be done with The Beast once and for all. It shall be grand.

Up until then, however, I'll be hitting the studying So Much so that Being Done will be even more exciting than it is now. (Yes, that does make sense.)

And the studying will involve lots of this (ing):




And hopefully by the end of this week the weather will warm up and I won't have to watch snow fall outside my window anymore. Snowfall and wild plum blossoms don't belong in the same season.